Thursday, May 25, 2017

If you could unmeet someone, would you?


I saw that statement on social media, and right away I thought, oh boy, I could go down a slippery slope reviewing the crusty characters, ex-boyfriends and creeps who have passed through my life tarnishing it a bit. 

Resentment and hatefulness are not healthy attitudes to hang on to, and possibly my part of relationships with them wasn’t all that perfect either.
If nothing more, I have stuck with the philosophy that everybody who walks into my life for a period has some purpose, and maybe even the worst of them has taught me a lesson or two for my own good when I look backward.
I will give them each a belated, “thank you.” 

It would be better to turn that phrase around. If you could re-meet someone, how would you work to make things go more smoothly?
Now I am not saying things will work out any better the second time. Perhaps, a proper appreciation of the other person, a correction of your own attitude or a realization that you did your best is all that is needed. 

Take for example the piano teacher I had when I was totally disinterested in lessons as a young child who patiently came to my house weekly to listen to me unprepared and filled with excuses. 
What a total waste of both of our time, and for my mother’s pocketbook. I never put in the proper minutes practice, and if I even came close to it, I did it half-heartedly.
Here I was feeling a tremendous dislike for a teacher only there to give me help. 
In fact, my mother insisted on the lessons and she didn’t take into account that I showed no desire to play the piano.
Later, I did find a love of music through playing the flute all the way through college, and to this day appreciate listening to a variety of styles. 

I would like to re-meet my piano teacher and take lessons again with the proper respect. Apparently I wasn’t meant for a flourishing career as a pianist, but a little more effort on my part might mean that I could play a tune or two for enjoyment.
That’s a pretty simple scenario. You get my point. 

Often in our immaturity we are quick to jump negatively without understanding someone’s frame of reference.
We are quick to impose our own values on someone else.
For example, a lot of potential friends, or even boyfriends, are overlooked, as their qualities are not defined yet during high school.
Everyone bumbles and circles around awkwardly, and after graduation people become more defined. 

Look back at a class reunion and you get what I mean. 
A quiet, studious guy in my high school class who never made a splash one bit as far as anyone remembers is now the owner of Lion Gate, a major movie production company in Hollywood.
Several women told me that they went to proms with him, and that was about it for his young social life.
At the reunion we all were anxious to have our few private moments with him, and when it was my turn, he acted like he remembered me. I know that he didn’t. Apparently, we never noticed each other in high school either.
How we all would love to re-live those years and perhaps, in hindsight we would have made a wider circle of friendships.